Work avoiding again

Slow start.. late to car boot. Met up with Em and Lu, and got lots of bargains. Took hours tho, and gutted that the boardshorts were too big.

Tried to eat when I got back (managed cereal and melon) and read more of Angels and Demons out in the sun. Went to Em's for a barbie later.. couldn't manage much, but nice to chill there. Then church. Trying to remember the keyword from the sermon... and can't.

Straight home after, with a smile on my face.. TGF seeing something beautiful. Ironing, food and Night at the Museum. Let the ratties out for a play. Accidentally stood on Tembo when he was under the sofa throw.. he made a big squeak, and I gave myself a dead leg trying to be instantly not standing on either leg. Apologised profusely to the poor guy.

Time for Shack reading now. Long shift tomorrow.

in a galaxy far, far away.. owned by Harley!!! I just won a game of Monopoly, for like the first time ever! It was Episode One Edition, and I managed to win by owning pretty much the entire board apart from the dark blues.. and only landing on the Jedi Council once!! Different tactics.. but the came could have gone either way.. all came down to a hilarious double one in the end. Hehe, sorry Ems.

101 sentences you never thought you'd say.. "There's bloomin loads in there, why did I think I'd need a frog?"

Also had a fab walk round Bradgate out in the sun with Stewie and Mags.. longest walk I've ever done round there. Kite a bit of a disaster.. but ice creams hilarious (will be on the Vlog tomorrow).

Time for Shack and sleeps now (and yes Karen, I have eaten today... 48.5kg and 10% body fat not good I know).

10km in 43:50. :-) Happy but legs hurt and MUST EAT now. Unlike Graeme I didn't get up early to avoid the heat.. its boiling in my 'gym'!

Think I might have to rename this blog 'Treadmill Avoiding'!! Am messing about with bike pictures yet again so I don't have to go try run 10k even faster.

Listening to Johnny Cash on Spotify. Sings from the soul.

Trying to distract myself.. but mostly just wishing I could time travel back two years.. had a wonderful day at the Heights of Abraham in Matlock with Alison, her Mum and Graeme. We laughed so much that day.

Skipped the run yesterday, so have to do it today. Still can't eat though.. feel sick all the time. Doesn't facilitate good running. Yesterday I stayed under the duvet and read The Shack instead. Has been really really helpful.. think that was actually my 'God Bargain' from the car boot on Sun. My image of God is now more Mma than Papa... kind of a cross between Mma Ramotswe from the Ladies Detective Agency, and the Oracle from the Matrix. Can really imagine her listening to me crying and her reassuring me.. that she has it all in hand.. I just need to trust her.

Praying for Karen too.. has her Titanium Toe operation today.

Back to bikes.. Chris Walker in the front of this pack.. he finished 3rd in this race.

The winner.. James Ellison..

Why is blonde (ok orange) always a shock?!

Really bad night. Lots of questions whizzing round my head. Lots of talking to God. Now wondering whether the words that came into my head are really an answer from Him. I guess only time will tell. Meantime, I seem to spend my whole life going over and over the same things. Can't find the strength to try to get on with life while I wait for God to do his stuff.

Right that's the first card full of photos sorted. Think I will force myself to run now. Feel awful though.. too sick to eat last night, and pain in stomach all night. More tempting to curl under the duvet again. Don't think I can face today. The highlight of my week has turned into something I'm now dreading. Help me God.

Not the day I'd planned.. managed run, food, haircut and an important and very difficult talk. More photos while head processes stuff..

Oh heck.. there's still 400 to go on the first card!!

Hmm.. been here ages. Still lots of photos to go. Still suffering from zoomy brain. Praying God will let me know what to do. Still seems like what I have thought all along is right, but there seems to be less and less I can do about it. I can't just let go though.. feels totally wrong. Guess God will work it out his way. Meantime, I'm just scared and hurt and sad. Oh well.. should be used to it by now, and I fear I may have a lifetime of that.

Monday 25th May.. me and Chalkie went to the first event of the year at Donington. Me and Jon got him a True Biker pass to the three main events there this year for his birthday. Although he doesn't really follow the BSB (he prefers MotoGP) we were still both looking forward to it.. and using it as a bit of experience for the bigger events later. For starters we'll know which motorway exit it is!! Getting there and in was all very easy.. the long grass on the bottom of Moby made a nicer noise than Loughborough's speed bumps! Wandered around a bit aimlessly during the warm ups, always suprises me that the public are allowed to just wander about the pits and paddocks.. amongst the huge campervans and varying sizes of gazebo garages. No suprises that we managed to find a Harley stand hehe..

Got a wicked picture of Chalkie..

Not so good of me!

Trekked to the infield and sat on the Esses opposite the Goddards VIP stand for the first few races.

Very difficult to get decent focus at that speed.. don't know if a bigger zoom lens would help, or make it worse. Fairly irrelevant as can't afford it anyway.

Moved a bit to get shots of them going away from me down the straight..

Moved again for the first Superbikes race.. found a corner (hopefully they'd slow down!) with no fence in the way. Gutted that the best rider (Sylvain Guintou) fell off on the sighting lap (didn't even make it as far as the warm up!) .. hope he is ok soon.. he broke his leg. Chalkie very disappointed, think he really wanted to see him race (and he was the only Crescent Suzuki rider).

Lone rider coming over the hill..

The crowd is where we were a little while previously!

The guy behind (blurry No 9) is Chris Walker.. rides for Henderson Yamaha.. we were rooting for him.

Right.. time for my run now (spent far too long in bed watching Star Trek 2 and editing pictures of empty track!)

Simon Scotty.. went to see Star Trek at Highcross with mates from church. Was great fun.. bit hyper on the way there... I was 'encouraged' by others. Joy running down the up escalator looked so funny I had to try it myself. Got a 'do that again and we'll throw you out' look from the security guy at the top of the down escalator... oops.

After a full half hour of ads and trailers it finally started.. and was great. Loved the film.. great story (which I think is the more important element) and the cast was brilliant.. did really believable younger versions of the original crew. Simon Pegg was great as Scotty. Some great jokes in there too. Film only spoiled by how sick I felt.. bad motion sickness/nausea despite wearing the 'bands' .. and the flashy lights hurt, and the sound hurt... felt really autistic :-( but was a bit better when I moved to the back, shut my eyes and covered my ears.. lol!

Hilarious journey back... endless Planet of the Apes puns... the world made entirely of pancakes for example.

Like the rug... God bargains? like Alison said about her rug.. sometimes God just puts something you need right in front of you.. 3 examples from the car boot.. wore the Yamaha shirt at Donington the day after, Mum wanted vinegar on her burger (and I could serve it in the proper thing) and I'm sorted for Wednesday night (NOT supporting Man U hehe).. and I got a friend for 50p :-)

Eventually managed to find the Translate stall at the car boot (only cos I was standing there thinking.. I used to have that exact same VCR) but I was a bit late, and then stressed at something Jo said. The Harley's House blog describes all the work I did on Saturday. Sunday morning was also lots of cleaning and sorting. Nice when they arrived though.. tea and cake (or death) out in the garden, then an impromtu barbie. Got an interesting shorts line on my legs and a string line instead of a watch line on my arm. Nose not burned thanks to Grandad's Guinness sunhat that I inherited when Ma remembered it was in the car. Played the 'Topix' game I got at the car boot.. quite amusing. Me and Pops just make up rubbish.. Ma is alarmingly creative. Went for a walk by the canal in the evening, hoping to get food at the Boat Inn. Failed, so after a pint outside we wandered back through town, and Dad wanted to go to Spoons. Not an easy time for me.. TGF Karen helping me through.

Late to bed having printed maps and schedules for the Racing, cleared all my SD cards, and having tried on a big bag of Jon's old clothes. Sent him a text asking him to slim down to a 28 inch waist!! Nice to get free t shirts and jeans tho :-)

Ok, so Graeme has just done the Manchester 10k in 43.20. Bum. Not sure I can run that fast. I felt awful on the treadmil yesterday (did 44.33) I think its cos I've not been eating properly again. Been a really really bad week. Got the news I was dreading. I'm praying its just something that has to happen on the way to things being sorted out for the better. Praying hard. Glad Karen is here to keep me calm and reassure me I'm not going mad.

Started my new job on Friday.. went well.. his Mum said I did well, so.. I guess its just getting more confident with things. And hoping that people will just tell me if I'm doing anything wrong. Survived a week at school too!

Slept most of yesterday.. life is easier when unconscious! Eventually managed some painting.. and lots more talking things through with Karen on Skype. Today was up early for car boot (small due to poor weather forecast) .. one of the records is a joke btw.. !

Drummed at the morning service (only smegged one up). Waiting for a furniture delivery now (storing for someone else) and I suppose I'd better do more painting.. too much to do before parents come next weekend.. if only I'd used that time off.. but then I really didn't feel like doing anything.. motivation still a big struggle.

Right, lets take a look in iPhoto and see what needs to go on.. hmm think most things have gone on the House blog.. just a few car boots from April.. varying numbers of bargains..

That reminds me.. Bank Holiday Monday went to the Lions Carnival thing with Alison, Karen and Graeme. Was freezing. Made a sunflower pot (well painted it.. badly.. on a SW theme, it being May 4th). Got some stuff at the car boot (adidas top and SW book). Resisted the tombola. Laughed when Alison won a dog comb. Laughed when Graeme got into a local Councillor conversation. Laughed more when we abandoned him. Had tea and cake and death.

Graeme enjoyed scones and the Dandy annual..

Harley enjoys a few Scoobies..

And is amused by the sign in the tea tent..

And Karen, as usual (and despite being having a lovely face) just pulls weird faces at me..

Then came back to mine, played the Bond scene it game (Karen won). Had very healthy tea. Played Guitar Hero with Joey and got my ass whooped at Baseball. Need to find someone to play me at the SW trivial pursuit. Might stand half a chance of winning. Unless its a member of the Lee family. Will have to see if my Mentor Group like the other games I got. Surely has to be better than silent reading?! Am doing good at shopping list car booting.. found a shower radio (really missed it when John took his) and found Graeme a tea pot, and found the thing to go on the end of my hose. Need to set myself a challenge.. like find a Harley for twenty quid.. or any Lego (there's none about :-( ). Ok.. time for bed said Zebedee. Hope Nurse Numpty is satisfied. Oh.. did 5k in 21:03 today, and have done two sub 45 min 10ks now, achieving my target for the year.. but not beating Graeme's race time.. got to get 44:09. Drat.

Got nagged by Nurse Numpty to do my blogs again. Being too sad not an excuse apparently. So. Yesterday was the Emmanuel FC vs Old boys game. Got some good photos, which I have spent too much time today editing and publishing. Distracted the guys during their awards.. instead of listening to Graeme they were watching the screen hehe. Nick scores the first goal..

Complete concentration from JW.. he made that tackle

Tim Sandford in action.. in fact all the Sandfords were involved.. including Bex as team Physio..

The 'proposal' approach to goalkeeping fails miserably..

JW gets all evangelical.. Hallelujah!

The rest of the Sandfords arrive..

And distract the photographer..

The crowd arrives..

and gets distracted by Nomi too..

All 132 photos are on my gallery. I was too nice to take pictures of Pete being carried off in pain. Was frightened he might not like me for bringing him the ice packs anyway (mine was the nearest freezer).