Tuesday, November 28, 2006
Can you tell....?
Ok so Pete just asked "Do you know when your thimble is nearly full? ".
I guess in some situations yeah, I do. Sometimes I can feel myself getting very quickly stressed out. In those situations the best thing that I can do (admittedly only best for myself, and short term) is to get away from whatever is stressing me. So, if it is possible I will simply walk away. This tends to be my favoured response, as it gets me away from the problem, and also onto my own so I can either calm myself down (using previously mentioned behaviours) or I can explode on my own. Sometimes I HAVE to get away from whatever it is. God has been dead good at helping me to contain explosive thimble spillage until I am on my own. Despite two large rugby players and some other big strong boys having a go, it must be noted that I was the first one to whack the mini puchbag at school soooo hard that it flew off the table.
Sometimes I will think that I have got myself under control, despite feeling like the thimble is very full....and then something tiny will set me off. This is normally the case for the 'tears' response to thimble spillage. Often at school I will think I am just about ok, and then Jono will give me a hug, or someone will say 'you ok' and they get a ball of tears!
Its really difficult if I cannot get away from the situation. I have had meetings with supervisers/directors of research where I have almost lost it (tears not aggressive) got it under control, finished the meeting, and just made it into Rach or Ems office before bawling!
I hate being 'trapped' with the person that is causing thimble spillage, especially once I have 'lost it'. This has happened quite a bit recently with stuff at church, where I have been forced into 'communicating' and not been allowed to walk/run away. The only way I can deal with this is to make myself be zero emotion, as if I was at all honest about how I feel, they would get all my emotion in one big explosion/meltdown.
Anyway, its late, and something has distracted me, so my monotropic brain has completely lost where I was going with this!. Bonne Nuit!
I guess in some situations yeah, I do. Sometimes I can feel myself getting very quickly stressed out. In those situations the best thing that I can do (admittedly only best for myself, and short term) is to get away from whatever is stressing me. So, if it is possible I will simply walk away. This tends to be my favoured response, as it gets me away from the problem, and also onto my own so I can either calm myself down (using previously mentioned behaviours) or I can explode on my own. Sometimes I HAVE to get away from whatever it is. God has been dead good at helping me to contain explosive thimble spillage until I am on my own. Despite two large rugby players and some other big strong boys having a go, it must be noted that I was the first one to whack the mini puchbag at school soooo hard that it flew off the table.
Sometimes I will think that I have got myself under control, despite feeling like the thimble is very full....and then something tiny will set me off. This is normally the case for the 'tears' response to thimble spillage. Often at school I will think I am just about ok, and then Jono will give me a hug, or someone will say 'you ok' and they get a ball of tears!
Its really difficult if I cannot get away from the situation. I have had meetings with supervisers/directors of research where I have almost lost it (tears not aggressive) got it under control, finished the meeting, and just made it into Rach or Ems office before bawling!
I hate being 'trapped' with the person that is causing thimble spillage, especially once I have 'lost it'. This has happened quite a bit recently with stuff at church, where I have been forced into 'communicating' and not been allowed to walk/run away. The only way I can deal with this is to make myself be zero emotion, as if I was at all honest about how I feel, they would get all my emotion in one big explosion/meltdown.
Anyway, its late, and something has distracted me, so my monotropic brain has completely lost where I was going with this!. Bonne Nuit!
# posted by Harley @ 10:31 PM 
